No 3  21 March


            Only take seriously in desperation


            I’ve go lots & lots of memories,

            At my age that’s not unique,

            I loved my Grandma very much,

            I visited her each week.


            Although it was so long ago,

            Certain things I can recall,

            Like the toilet in the garden,

            And that was oh so small,


            Her house was by a railway line,

            Of course there were no views,

            But hanging behind the toilet door,

            Were squares of the “Keighley News”


            It wasn’t just my Grandma,

            It was the general thing to do,

            I’d sit there with my legs crossed,

            If I needed the loo,


            For those who could afford them,

            Izal toilet rolls came out,

            The Keighley News was better,

            Of that there was no doubt.


            So if you can’t get toilet rolls,

            And don’t know what to use,

            Take my advice from childhood,

            And buy the “Keighley News”


            I’ve been into their offices,

            Told them what it’s all about,

            I’m now on a commission,

            They’re expecting a sell-out