No 334         February 12


I did not know Bradford very well,

But Eunice said she did,

We went on a shopping trip,

At one point I could have hid.


She had a little westie dog,

Went with her everywhere,

It turned into a nightmare,

‘cause today she had a scare.


When we’d finished shopping,

We went back to the car,

We’d parked it on a back street,

Couldn’t find it anywhere.


She collared a policeman,

Said someone’s stolen Celia’s car,

And my little dog is in it,

They can’t have gone too far.


The policeman couldn’t stop her screaming,

He told her give it a rest,

I am here to help you,

I’ll try and do my best.


Now please tell me lady,

Is this street where you parked,

Well another bout of screaming,

I won’t tell you her remark.


He asked her for my number plate,

I gave him the information,

He left us for a little while,

He had to ring the station.


Eunice was beside herself,

To console her I did try,

The policeman came back again,

He knew the reason why.


He said will you please come with me,

It made her stop the wail,

I think that we both thought,

He was taking her to jail.


We’d parked it in another street,

And everything was fine,

But I still thank my lucky stars,

Eunice wasn’t doing time.